Postal

This is another videogame adaptaion by videogame movie director Uwe Boll. Boll is widely criticized by every "smart" movie fan and critic on a world wide level. No matter what he does, be it the unwatchably shitty House of the Dead (how do you fuck that up?), or even if he was behind a masterpiece like Citizen Kane, the guy would never ever get any good press.

Postal is based on the game of the same name. The movie has Scott Farkus from A Christmas Story as the main character, and his life is falling to shit. He meets up with his uncle (Dave Foley) and they have a plan to hijack the popular Krotchie Dolls to sell and pay off the IRS. The only problem is the Taliban are also trying to hijack the dolls as inside them containers of the bird flu. It turns into Farkus needed to save the day and all hell breaks loose.

Was this good? Eh. I'm indifferent regarding the movie as a whole. A lot of the acting is beyond terrible. Especially by Foleys right hand man in it. He is some fat tub who is annoying as diarrhea. Dave Foley was good, and his dick made a cameo in the movie which was way unexpected. Not even just a peek either, that thing was just chillin for a minute after he was banging some fine ass naked chicks.

The story is pretty stupid and the main reason for it all is to show a bunch of stereotypical characters and have some shocking shit go down. Some stuff cracked me up (Arab guy playinng DDR in the background, the kids getting blown away, the Asian bitch at the green light.)

Some stuff was stupid as hell but I think my favorite part is when Boll himself makes an appearence in the movie. He is being interviewed about the dolls, and then the creator of the video game comes out and starts yelling at him for screwing his game up. Bolls response in broken german English made me laugh pretty hard for some reason as he's screaming at the guy "vut de fucks wrong vith you!? Dis movie is great!"

To someone else maybe it's not funny. I cracked up. At least the guy has a sense of humor regarding the worldwide hatred for him. Gotta give him credit though, after putting out movie after movie that give him horrifying reviews, he is still able to get funding and put out movies costing upwards of 20 million bucks.

Personally I am indifferent to the guy. He puts out stuff that is entertaining in their own right, but obviously aren't classics. On the other hand, you have a guy like George Lucas who hasn't put anything good out since 1983 but he's still a god to a bunch of small dick geeks. Did they see the new star wars trilogy? Or even kingdom of the crystal skull? He can do no wrong but like I said, Uwe Boll could put out the greatest movie ever made and because of who he is, it'd be panned ala Michael Bay.

Okay at best. Ran too long but some stuff made me laugh