Today at work I was chatting with my movie buddy, "AWWW YEAH" Mike. We were talking about movies coming up and I mentioned how I can't wait to see Max Payne. I am a big Marky Mark fan, coupled that with me sitting glued to my seat while playing the two Max Payne games and you got a loser on your hands highly anticipating the movie adaptation, hoping its not anything like Street Fighter.
This brings me to the movie review.
Mike said, I am sure it will be better than his last movie from the summer. I responded not knowing what movie he was talking about. Then he said something that triggered it in my head and my response was, "oh the Happening!? That movie sucked!"
It started off great, like a terrorist type deal and something was causing people to kill themselves.......
MAJOR SPOILER HERE! WATCH OUT!
But it turned out the trees and nature are sensitive bitches and don't like how human beings have been treating them. So to take vengeance for their brothers and sisters being chopped down and grinded to pieces, they release a toxic chemical that makes people kill themselves......................................................................................
What a stupid movie.
SOMETHING IS HAPPENING! AND IT ISN'T A GOOD REVIEW OF THIS LAME ASS MOVIE!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Ghost Rider
I have been a big fan of the recent string of comic book movies. I like seeing what a live action version of these stories will look like. The problem is, they're either spot on, or completely shitty.
I know each person has their own opinion on what makes a "good" movie and what makes a flop. To make my point, let me list some recent comic movies I liked and disliked.
Spiderman, Iron Man, Dark Night, obviously if you like movies, let alone comic book movies, these HAD to entertain you on some level.
Then there are others, X-Men, Superman, Punisher, that either didn't live up to expectations, or I just didn't give a shit about.
This brings me to Ghost Rider.
I like Nicolas Cage. I think he's cool and he gets away with doing some of the shittiest movies out there, then he will come back and do something worth while. Although he's like plenty of other actors who plays the same role over and over (Bill Murray, that jewish pothead Seth Rogen character he plays in every movie) but it works for him.
For this movie, the idea of a guy who rides a bad ass bike and has a flaming skull for a head seems can't miss. Instead we get stuck with a horrible villain, annoying voice changing when the hero transforms and you can barely understand him, and overall disappointing PG-13 fare.
I guess it has the same problem the Punisher had for me, where it seems like it should be a violent movie with blood, and "bad language" considering the look and feel of the character, and the fact he's in a battle to send people back to hell and stealing their souls and shit. Instead it just comes off a little cheesy and nothing to blow a load in your pants about.
The special effects are okay, although to think coming this far in the CG age, they'd be able to make some of the stuff look a little less cartoony and more realistic.
Whatever the case, as lame as it was, it had some sweet cleavage shots of the delicious Eva Mendes, and it had that creep with the insanely deep voice, making me sit there wondering exactly how big his junk was to have a voice that deep.
Overall, I'll give this 1 and a half assholes. The half is for the movie, the full asshole is because of Eva Mendes' tits.
I know each person has their own opinion on what makes a "good" movie and what makes a flop. To make my point, let me list some recent comic movies I liked and disliked.
Spiderman, Iron Man, Dark Night, obviously if you like movies, let alone comic book movies, these HAD to entertain you on some level.
Then there are others, X-Men, Superman, Punisher, that either didn't live up to expectations, or I just didn't give a shit about.
This brings me to Ghost Rider.
I like Nicolas Cage. I think he's cool and he gets away with doing some of the shittiest movies out there, then he will come back and do something worth while. Although he's like plenty of other actors who plays the same role over and over (Bill Murray, that jewish pothead Seth Rogen character he plays in every movie) but it works for him.
For this movie, the idea of a guy who rides a bad ass bike and has a flaming skull for a head seems can't miss. Instead we get stuck with a horrible villain, annoying voice changing when the hero transforms and you can barely understand him, and overall disappointing PG-13 fare.
I guess it has the same problem the Punisher had for me, where it seems like it should be a violent movie with blood, and "bad language" considering the look and feel of the character, and the fact he's in a battle to send people back to hell and stealing their souls and shit. Instead it just comes off a little cheesy and nothing to blow a load in your pants about.
The special effects are okay, although to think coming this far in the CG age, they'd be able to make some of the stuff look a little less cartoony and more realistic.
Whatever the case, as lame as it was, it had some sweet cleavage shots of the delicious Eva Mendes, and it had that creep with the insanely deep voice, making me sit there wondering exactly how big his junk was to have a voice that deep.
Overall, I'll give this 1 and a half assholes. The half is for the movie, the full asshole is because of Eva Mendes' tits.
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