Lindsay Lohan is a pretty good actor. Its just too bad shes such a fuck up. If she doesnt straighten herself out she will be another generic Hollywood True Story about how she died young, and was a stupid idiotic bitch yadda yadda yadda.
She was the best part of a movie that was sort of a mess. Whole serial killer mystery, and then it goes into this zany other shit about amnesia and all that stuff, since she wakes up and is sure shes not who they think she is. From there, it just gets crazier, with weirder shit going on, and it all climaxes with such a laughable final shot in the movie. The theatre cracked up at it cause it was pretty silly.
Lindsay as a stripper: Thumbs up
Gore: it was okay, chopped off limbs and the best part was the finger in the glove. I laughed at that.
Overall though, I'd definately wait till it came on free tv to check it out. Pretty blah, but she was good in it.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Chuck and Larry (Short)
This will be a short one because its hot, and I dont feel like going into huge detail.
Adam Sandler heads back to his roots and is pretty damn funny in this. Throughout the movie I was cracking up, and all the offensive stereotypes and rediculous jokes and shit were great.
Definately recommend this one, as its one of the funnier movies I've seen in the theatres in a while.
Jessica Biel is SMOKING hot too.
Adam Sandler heads back to his roots and is pretty damn funny in this. Throughout the movie I was cracking up, and all the offensive stereotypes and rediculous jokes and shit were great.
Definately recommend this one, as its one of the funnier movies I've seen in the theatres in a while.
Jessica Biel is SMOKING hot too.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Live Free or Die Hard
I think Bruce Willis is the dude, and I love over the top action movies. So since they decided to bring back Die Hard, I was pretty excited. The original trailers had me creaming my jeans, so I couldn't wait for the movie to actually come out. I saw it a couple weeks ago, and it sure didn't dissapoint.
There is a cyber terrorist on the loose, and he is destroying America and causing panic all over the country, while trying to heist a shit load of money in the process. John McClane is called into action, and he beats the shit out of EVERYBODY.
The action was awesome, and starts pretty much from the get go. There is witty banter back and forth between Willis and the annoying kid from the Apple commercials. Thankfully in this, he wasn't annoying and was actually pretty tolerable.
The action sequences were so crazy and unbelievable, but isn't that how a movie like this is supposed to be? If you got millions of dollars being put in to a movie, make it as extravagant as possible, so people like me will pop boners into my popcorn. Then when I think it cant get better, I can butter it with the load I shot from the next series of explosions and ass kicking.
This movie was awesome, it ran a solid non boring 2 and a half hours, and kept me engaged the whole way through. I've debated with myself if I liked this or Transformers better, but I will stick with Transformers, and this is right there behind it on the scale of awesome. I do agree, that if this had an R rating, and more swearing and some actual blood spraying out of people, it would be even better. Small things to complain about, when it was still action packed, plenty of violence, and more "dick heads" in a movie than I've noticed in a while.
5 butt affair.
There is a cyber terrorist on the loose, and he is destroying America and causing panic all over the country, while trying to heist a shit load of money in the process. John McClane is called into action, and he beats the shit out of EVERYBODY.
The action was awesome, and starts pretty much from the get go. There is witty banter back and forth between Willis and the annoying kid from the Apple commercials. Thankfully in this, he wasn't annoying and was actually pretty tolerable.
The action sequences were so crazy and unbelievable, but isn't that how a movie like this is supposed to be? If you got millions of dollars being put in to a movie, make it as extravagant as possible, so people like me will pop boners into my popcorn. Then when I think it cant get better, I can butter it with the load I shot from the next series of explosions and ass kicking.
This movie was awesome, it ran a solid non boring 2 and a half hours, and kept me engaged the whole way through. I've debated with myself if I liked this or Transformers better, but I will stick with Transformers, and this is right there behind it on the scale of awesome. I do agree, that if this had an R rating, and more swearing and some actual blood spraying out of people, it would be even better. Small things to complain about, when it was still action packed, plenty of violence, and more "dick heads" in a movie than I've noticed in a while.
5 butt affair.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
I HATE the original Texas Chainsaw. I know for it's time, it was one of the most shocking movies made, and it really scared the shit out of people, but for me personally, I think its way over rated, boring, and completely atrocious. When they made the remake a couple years ago, I liked it and thought it was pretty fun.
When I heard they were making a prequel to the remake, I thought, well if its like the remake, it'll be a decent watch. And it is pretty much the exact same thing as the remake.
Instead of Jessica Biels sweet ass being stalked, they got Jordana Brewster from the Fast and the Furious running around showing her ass crack. Not bad.
The movie itself is decent. The gore is turned up by a ton, and they don't shy away from showing anything. Like most movies will show a guy with a sledgehammer, then cut away before the impact. Not this one. You get to see it bounce off a guys face. Body parts ripped apart and all that crazy shit.
The problem for me with the movie is, since I know it's a prequel, and its obvious leather face, the "sherrif", and all the rest of the sick assholes in the house are in the original, how can you feel any suspense during this one? It's obvious from the get go that all the kids are gonna get slaughtered, just a matter of how. If that was a "SPOILER" for anybody, shut up, you already know nobody in the Leatherface Clan is dead anyways.
If you like movies with tons of gore, and sexy ladies running around looking sexy not scared, I guess watch it. If you've already seen the remake, you can skip this, cause with that one the ending is a lot more satisfying.
2 buttholes
When I heard they were making a prequel to the remake, I thought, well if its like the remake, it'll be a decent watch. And it is pretty much the exact same thing as the remake.
Instead of Jessica Biels sweet ass being stalked, they got Jordana Brewster from the Fast and the Furious running around showing her ass crack. Not bad.
The movie itself is decent. The gore is turned up by a ton, and they don't shy away from showing anything. Like most movies will show a guy with a sledgehammer, then cut away before the impact. Not this one. You get to see it bounce off a guys face. Body parts ripped apart and all that crazy shit.
The problem for me with the movie is, since I know it's a prequel, and its obvious leather face, the "sherrif", and all the rest of the sick assholes in the house are in the original, how can you feel any suspense during this one? It's obvious from the get go that all the kids are gonna get slaughtered, just a matter of how. If that was a "SPOILER" for anybody, shut up, you already know nobody in the Leatherface Clan is dead anyways.
If you like movies with tons of gore, and sexy ladies running around looking sexy not scared, I guess watch it. If you've already seen the remake, you can skip this, cause with that one the ending is a lot more satisfying.
2 buttholes
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