Daniel Craigs second go round as 007 was entertaining but not the total package like the last one. Still leagues better than most of the other cartoony ones with terrible puns and lame acting. Sorry Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry, you guys sucked.
Craig and the new version of James Bond is much more intense. He is vicious and more believable as an agent/assassin. The action is a lot more realistic too. Just the story wasn't as good as casino royale. He still bangs hot chicks though which is always good.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
The Pineapple Express
Sucks.
Not because of my hatred towards everything Apatow, but stoner "comedies" do nothing for me. This one especially as I think I laughed at about two things. Those things had nothing to do with pot, nothing to do with the main characters, as it was Danny McBride who was the most entertaining part of the movie.
The story is what it is. Pot head witnesses a murder, goes on the run. The action part at the end was pretty good. But all the jokes, all the whole friendship shit, it was lame and boring. As is usually the case with an Apatow production, it is longer than it should be, and it feels it. One thing about the whole friendship deal, it was just like Superbad too, also written by Rogen and his pal Evan whatever his jewish last name is. (of course theres mention of Rogen being Jewish in it too. Guys we get it)
Overall, lame. Dont get it. Dont get the hype. Miss actually funny comedies and not this lame ass shit
Not because of my hatred towards everything Apatow, but stoner "comedies" do nothing for me. This one especially as I think I laughed at about two things. Those things had nothing to do with pot, nothing to do with the main characters, as it was Danny McBride who was the most entertaining part of the movie.
The story is what it is. Pot head witnesses a murder, goes on the run. The action part at the end was pretty good. But all the jokes, all the whole friendship shit, it was lame and boring. As is usually the case with an Apatow production, it is longer than it should be, and it feels it. One thing about the whole friendship deal, it was just like Superbad too, also written by Rogen and his pal Evan whatever his jewish last name is. (of course theres mention of Rogen being Jewish in it too. Guys we get it)
Overall, lame. Dont get it. Dont get the hype. Miss actually funny comedies and not this lame ass shit
Quarantine
This is similar to the Diary of the Dead, but its a news reporter documenting a night with the fire department. There is a call to a building, and some old bitch is going crazy. All hell breaks loose as she starts attacking people, thus transforming them into monsters.
They arent zombies, they are actually infected with rabies, which is what causes the quarantine of the building.
This was surprisingly good for being in the Blair Witch/Cloverfield way of movies. It was crazy to think that this could really happen, and they wouldn't give a shit if you're the pope, if you're quarantined due to disease, you're fucked. It wasn't a generic jump out scare, but more a wow this could happen type deal.
It was cool though. Good gore, good stuff. I liked it.
They arent zombies, they are actually infected with rabies, which is what causes the quarantine of the building.
This was surprisingly good for being in the Blair Witch/Cloverfield way of movies. It was crazy to think that this could really happen, and they wouldn't give a shit if you're the pope, if you're quarantined due to disease, you're fucked. It wasn't a generic jump out scare, but more a wow this could happen type deal.
It was cool though. Good gore, good stuff. I liked it.
Fast and Furious
Quick.
If you liked the first one, you'll love this installment. All the originals are back, and this is supposed to take place a little after the first movie, as one of the Tokyo Drift characters is in it, before heading to Tokyo.
Good action, hot chicks, etc. etc. Vin Diesel is portrayed as a beast in it on a mission for revenge. The story is deeper than any of the previous ones, although its not the craziest deal out there. A movie like this, doesnt need it though. Thats why I like it. Highly recommend if you like brainless fun and cool car scenes
If you liked the first one, you'll love this installment. All the originals are back, and this is supposed to take place a little after the first movie, as one of the Tokyo Drift characters is in it, before heading to Tokyo.
Good action, hot chicks, etc. etc. Vin Diesel is portrayed as a beast in it on a mission for revenge. The story is deeper than any of the previous ones, although its not the craziest deal out there. A movie like this, doesnt need it though. Thats why I like it. Highly recommend if you like brainless fun and cool car scenes
Monday, March 30, 2009
Death Race
Finally got around to watching this. Statham is in it, oooooh! Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (or Millas fuck buddy/Resident Evil director). This was a lot of fun.
Jason Statham is framed for the murder of his wife, for the sole purpose of being brought into prison to take part in the Death Race, which is exactly what it sounds like. Lots of crazy shit happens. There are awesome car chases and races, good fist fights, lots of gunfire, lots of bad language etc.
I don't really need to get into specifics of why it was fun, but if you like movies with bodies and cars exploding, blood, guts, fighting etc, you will have a great time with this. So many car flips while on fire too.
Wish I saw it in the theater for the full atmospheric excperience, but it was still pretty damn fun.
Jason Statham is framed for the murder of his wife, for the sole purpose of being brought into prison to take part in the Death Race, which is exactly what it sounds like. Lots of crazy shit happens. There are awesome car chases and races, good fist fights, lots of gunfire, lots of bad language etc.
I don't really need to get into specifics of why it was fun, but if you like movies with bodies and cars exploding, blood, guts, fighting etc, you will have a great time with this. So many car flips while on fire too.
Wish I saw it in the theater for the full atmospheric excperience, but it was still pretty damn fun.
The Haunting in Connecticut
Kid has cancer. His family decides to get another place near the hospital in CT to avoid the huge commute back and forth as he is going through chemo. Of course the fucking mother has to pick the creepiest house that used to be an old funeral home right? What caring parent wouldn't freak the shit out of her kids by telling them dead people used to be chopped up in the basement.
Lots of creepy shit happens in the house. Some of it was genuinely creepy. Especially the eyelid shit. My issue with this, and the last haunted house/room movie I saw, is they drag it out for so god damn long. The movie (which I just looked up) is 92 minutes long.... It was a LOOOOONG 92 minutes. I thought it was at least two hours. Like 1408 from a couple summers ago, its just drags and drags. We get it, the fucking house is haunted. Explain why already and progress the story. This could have been a nice made for TV horror on demand that is a 60 minute creepy show to watch.
There were some out of nowhere plot twists too, as in the middle of the movie, all of a sudden it comes back to the forefront that the dad used to be a raging alcoholic. Okay. Great. Just so they could have a scene of him freaking out and scaring the family I guess.
There were definately some creepy things in it. All the dead bodies that turn up wound up being cool. The religious undertones though were like WTF? Is this the Happening only regarding ghosts?
Wait for the DVD, or even better, cable.
Lots of creepy shit happens in the house. Some of it was genuinely creepy. Especially the eyelid shit. My issue with this, and the last haunted house/room movie I saw, is they drag it out for so god damn long. The movie (which I just looked up) is 92 minutes long.... It was a LOOOOONG 92 minutes. I thought it was at least two hours. Like 1408 from a couple summers ago, its just drags and drags. We get it, the fucking house is haunted. Explain why already and progress the story. This could have been a nice made for TV horror on demand that is a 60 minute creepy show to watch.
There were some out of nowhere plot twists too, as in the middle of the movie, all of a sudden it comes back to the forefront that the dad used to be a raging alcoholic. Okay. Great. Just so they could have a scene of him freaking out and scaring the family I guess.
There were definately some creepy things in it. All the dead bodies that turn up wound up being cool. The religious undertones though were like WTF? Is this the Happening only regarding ghosts?
Wait for the DVD, or even better, cable.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Friday the 13th
Let me say that any and all emotions and sympathy I will ever have to characters in movies is thrown out the window based on the people cast in the roles. In this movie, there are 8 that I felt sympathy for or cared about and four of them were individual tits.
Put it this way, anybody in the movie with shaggy looking curly hair, like a heart throb from abercrombie (EVERY fucking dude in the movie), I hope gets killed in a brutal way as soon as I see them. That left two dudes to not mind, and they were an Asian and a black dude who wound up fitting every cliché imaginable anyways.
So all you characters that look like you belong in the partridge family, a hip and cool rock band, or next to Seth Rogen and his "awesome" Jew fro, I enjoyed watching you die.
The movie itself had some fat fake tits flopping around. Generic characters that have to fill the same roles that every modern horror or comedy has like why is it everyone is a pothead? Whatever. I will stop ranting about how I hated everybody in the movie.
Jason himself was pretty good. I'm not a diehard by any means so it doesn't upset me that whoever plays Jason is an anonymous person behind a mask each time. So Kane Hodder and all your fans can keep whining, cause if your a big guy you too can be a masked murderer in the next Friday the 13th. Seriously you can't tell the difference anyways. Jason was as badass as ever. He was brutal and honestly I loved the fact that he was more intense and runnin around.
The story is pretty non existent. Teenagers go camping. A girl goes missing. More teenagers go camping and one looks for his sister. Jason watches tits bounce around and practices his archery. That's that. But who watches slashers for the story anyway?
As for the whole remake and reimagining obsession for movies, I don't have a problem with it like some people. It doesn't ruin the original movie younalready know. Sometimes a movie could use an update for a new generation as the classics have pretty low production value, horrible music and effects and so forth so why not do it again. Sometimes it works like the new Texas Chainsaw. I loved that and hatednthe original. Sometimes it's entertaining but the original wins out like Halloween (really Rob Zombie, does every character in your movies need to be disgusting white trash whores?) but overall they are there for a newer crowd who may not be as frightened by the originals ecause by this point in time we've seen a lot crazier stuff in our movies.
So if you like these movies you'll like this as it is what it is.
Put it this way, anybody in the movie with shaggy looking curly hair, like a heart throb from abercrombie (EVERY fucking dude in the movie), I hope gets killed in a brutal way as soon as I see them. That left two dudes to not mind, and they were an Asian and a black dude who wound up fitting every cliché imaginable anyways.
So all you characters that look like you belong in the partridge family, a hip and cool rock band, or next to Seth Rogen and his "awesome" Jew fro, I enjoyed watching you die.
The movie itself had some fat fake tits flopping around. Generic characters that have to fill the same roles that every modern horror or comedy has like why is it everyone is a pothead? Whatever. I will stop ranting about how I hated everybody in the movie.
Jason himself was pretty good. I'm not a diehard by any means so it doesn't upset me that whoever plays Jason is an anonymous person behind a mask each time. So Kane Hodder and all your fans can keep whining, cause if your a big guy you too can be a masked murderer in the next Friday the 13th. Seriously you can't tell the difference anyways. Jason was as badass as ever. He was brutal and honestly I loved the fact that he was more intense and runnin around.
The story is pretty non existent. Teenagers go camping. A girl goes missing. More teenagers go camping and one looks for his sister. Jason watches tits bounce around and practices his archery. That's that. But who watches slashers for the story anyway?
As for the whole remake and reimagining obsession for movies, I don't have a problem with it like some people. It doesn't ruin the original movie younalready know. Sometimes a movie could use an update for a new generation as the classics have pretty low production value, horrible music and effects and so forth so why not do it again. Sometimes it works like the new Texas Chainsaw. I loved that and hatednthe original. Sometimes it's entertaining but the original wins out like Halloween (really Rob Zombie, does every character in your movies need to be disgusting white trash whores?) but overall they are there for a newer crowd who may not be as frightened by the originals ecause by this point in time we've seen a lot crazier stuff in our movies.
So if you like these movies you'll like this as it is what it is.
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