Sat down with my lady to watch every girls favorite movie last night. I expected some cheesy fairy tale shit but it turned out to be thoroughly enjoyable. It's about two sweethearts seperated after a summer of love, only to somehow be reunited down the line. There's plenty more to the story, most of which I figured out right away, but it didn't take away my enjoyment of the flick at all. It had humor, romance, and a shitload of dialogue that sounded like a legitimate scenario I was involved in last summer.
Yes I cried. Any dude that watches with his bitch and doesn't cry, you're a fucking creep
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Underworld 3
Prequel to the Vampire vs. Werewolf series that had Kate Beckinsale running around in painted on sexy outfits. In her place is the equally attractive if not slightly sexier Rhona Mitre.
She plays a death dealer, no surprise, in love with Lucian (a Lycan hybrid who protects their turf from his other werewolf comrades). When their affair is brought to the attention to her father Victor (the creepy old fuck with crazy eyes) he shits and has Lucian whipped and tossed in Jail with a bunch of other rejects. Sonja (Rhona) makes a deal to help him escape and their love fest begins the all out war between vampires and werewolves.
It looks and feels exactly like the other two. Filled with blue color, cool fights, sexy bitch and creepy old guy looking creepy. If you liked the first two it won't disappoint. If you didn't it won't change your mind. I enjoyed it thoroughly and enjoy Rhona Mitre as the replacement for Selene. They're both babes that wanna blow me.
If you haven't seen the three, as this is a prequel you should just see the newest one first followed by one and two.
She plays a death dealer, no surprise, in love with Lucian (a Lycan hybrid who protects their turf from his other werewolf comrades). When their affair is brought to the attention to her father Victor (the creepy old fuck with crazy eyes) he shits and has Lucian whipped and tossed in Jail with a bunch of other rejects. Sonja (Rhona) makes a deal to help him escape and their love fest begins the all out war between vampires and werewolves.
It looks and feels exactly like the other two. Filled with blue color, cool fights, sexy bitch and creepy old guy looking creepy. If you liked the first two it won't disappoint. If you didn't it won't change your mind. I enjoyed it thoroughly and enjoy Rhona Mitre as the replacement for Selene. They're both babes that wanna blow me.
If you haven't seen the three, as this is a prequel you should just see the newest one first followed by one and two.
Max Payne
Mark Wahlberg is a pretty decent choice to play pain. I'm obsessed with the video game yet I honestly can't pick someone I'd want as Payne. So Wahlberg is good enough for me.
This is a flick starting towards the end and rewinding to the beginning. We see Max under water as he is left for dead for whatever reason we haven't seen yet.
One of those hard edged cop movies where Paynes wife and newborn were murdered so he literally is looking for a case that will get him killed. He's got no reason to live.
While looking for information this hot Russian bitch gets murdered, and Max becomes a suspect because they found his wallet at the scene. Damn bitches and their sticky fingers.
Max is a marked man with the cops AND a group of bad Russians, most specifically Mona Sax played by the way hot and not noticed enough Mila Kunis. What a babe. When Max gets a lead on who murdered the Bitch (who's Monas sister) he saves his own ass from getting his head shot to shit and needs her help finding those responsible.
The murder of her sister and Maxs family are related so the shit hits the fan looking for the answers.
As far as the movie goes it looks real nice. Has the hard edged look and gritty feel of a snowy New York. It started off a little eeeh for me, but soon enough things picked up and I was engulfed.
As far as a translation from the video game goes, they do a pretty decent job sticking to things originating in the game. Some things I didn't care for, some characters weren't used to the fullest etc. It's much better than most video game translations. There were parts I wish were in it (like the bank robbery, skinny Vinnie Gognitti running from Payne), but overall it was cool. Not a barn burner but it was cool.
The game had plenty of shootouts, more junkies and twists and turns and it actually took place in one night. This took place over a few days.
If you like the game it's cool enough. If your never played the game the story might interest you as a stand alone new idea. Not enough bullet time for a game that needed it, but the whole effect has been beaten to death so it's all good.
Open ended for a possible sequel which I'd see. The ending credits were awesome and they left all credits till the end which I like (ahem Lawson ahem coming soon)
This is a flick starting towards the end and rewinding to the beginning. We see Max under water as he is left for dead for whatever reason we haven't seen yet.
One of those hard edged cop movies where Paynes wife and newborn were murdered so he literally is looking for a case that will get him killed. He's got no reason to live.
While looking for information this hot Russian bitch gets murdered, and Max becomes a suspect because they found his wallet at the scene. Damn bitches and their sticky fingers.
Max is a marked man with the cops AND a group of bad Russians, most specifically Mona Sax played by the way hot and not noticed enough Mila Kunis. What a babe. When Max gets a lead on who murdered the Bitch (who's Monas sister) he saves his own ass from getting his head shot to shit and needs her help finding those responsible.
The murder of her sister and Maxs family are related so the shit hits the fan looking for the answers.
As far as the movie goes it looks real nice. Has the hard edged look and gritty feel of a snowy New York. It started off a little eeeh for me, but soon enough things picked up and I was engulfed.
As far as a translation from the video game goes, they do a pretty decent job sticking to things originating in the game. Some things I didn't care for, some characters weren't used to the fullest etc. It's much better than most video game translations. There were parts I wish were in it (like the bank robbery, skinny Vinnie Gognitti running from Payne), but overall it was cool. Not a barn burner but it was cool.
The game had plenty of shootouts, more junkies and twists and turns and it actually took place in one night. This took place over a few days.
If you like the game it's cool enough. If your never played the game the story might interest you as a stand alone new idea. Not enough bullet time for a game that needed it, but the whole effect has been beaten to death so it's all good.
Open ended for a possible sequel which I'd see. The ending credits were awesome and they left all credits till the end which I like (ahem Lawson ahem coming soon)
Bangkok Dangerous
Nicolas Cage has terrible hair in this. Apparently they combined his regular three hairs with doll hair to get this unique and creepy look. He's a hit man headed to Bangkok to pull off four connected jobs before he retires.
The preview made it look a little different. The movie goes at a lumbering pace for the first hour or so. Here are a few alright occurances in that time, but I was expecting more hit man action and less Mr. Myagi action from dollhair. Along the way Cage falls for a deaf Asian pharmacist and makes rude obscene sign language gestures to her.
The ending picks up as Cage is found out for his final job and needs to run for his life making his trip to Bangkok...... Dangerous!
The preview made it look a little different. The movie goes at a lumbering pace for the first hour or so. Here are a few alright occurances in that time, but I was expecting more hit man action and less Mr. Myagi action from dollhair. Along the way Cage falls for a deaf Asian pharmacist and makes rude obscene sign language gestures to her.
The ending picks up as Cage is found out for his final job and needs to run for his life making his trip to Bangkok...... Dangerous!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Mirrors
Jack Bauer is an ex cop suffering through psychological issues relating to a shooting. He's trying to get his life together and gets a job as a security guard for an old burned down property. Inside the place is a ton of mirrors and a ton of freaky shit happens to him.
This is your standard ghost story type deal, although it's presented a little differently. Lots of gory events take place because of the mirrors and some freaky shit makes jack bauer crazy. He starts investigated everything that has happened, and inside the building to see what is REALLY taking place.
Some stuff was gross. Amy Smarts ass wasn't. Hahaaaa. I've seen movies like this before so things weren't so shocking. The ending came off as eh to me. But then something else happened which made it a little cooler and saved it from being your standard ghost sort ending.
It was decent. Better than a lot of stuff I've seen in a similar vein.
This is your standard ghost story type deal, although it's presented a little differently. Lots of gory events take place because of the mirrors and some freaky shit makes jack bauer crazy. He starts investigated everything that has happened, and inside the building to see what is REALLY taking place.
Some stuff was gross. Amy Smarts ass wasn't. Hahaaaa. I've seen movies like this before so things weren't so shocking. The ending came off as eh to me. But then something else happened which made it a little cooler and saved it from being your standard ghost sort ending.
It was decent. Better than a lot of stuff I've seen in a similar vein.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
My Bloody Valentine 3D
The excitement of the 3D gimmick was out in full force. This was an all out extravaganza. The theatre was packed and when they told us to put on the glasses everyone was pumped.
The first few minutes were tough as my eyes were adjusting to everything. Gave us a nice idea of what to expect through news clippings and things regarding the psycho miner on a killing spree.
He escapes from the hospital in an awesomely gory way and heads home to his mine. Young teenagers partying and heads rolling made this thing start off with a bang. They took full advantage of things flying at the screen early and people were loving it.
As things flash forward to ten years after the mining massacre, things REALLY slowed down an to be honest, they shouldve had us take off the glasses until things picked up again.
The mine is gonna be sold and the seller is a kid who survived the earlier attacks. He comes back after ten years and is being blamed for everything wrong with the town.
Things picked up again when the miner wreaks havoc on the town again. Best part was the motel with the 3D tits. Highly entertaining part of the movie.
Other shit happens and about halfway through the movie they decided to turn on a directors commentary so we know what's going on....... Oh wait, it was the obnoxious fat pig gangster girls behind us that wouldn't shut the fuck up and had the entire theatre playing a guessing game of what's to come with them. Fucking bitches. No wonder people get shot in theatre or not being quiet.
Anyhow the 3D came back and was exciting again (it never left just was worthwhile again). People were into the cat and mouse game and who dunnit atmosphere of the movie.
The ending "swerve" was kinda weak but it didn't take away from the fun of the movie. Was is the greatest horror movie I've seen? No. In recent memory yes. They actually put out a solid rated R flick with tons of gore, could language and 3D tits and beaver. Overall a lot of fun minus the cunts behind us.
3D movies are a nice gimmick making a comeback. Honestly they need shit like this to get people interested in going to the theatres to not watch dog hotel.
The place was a mobscene as well because there were a bunch of idiot 15 year old kids there that decided it was absolutely necessary to be obnoxious, run around, and fill the theatre to watch Notorious. I'm glad people want to support the movie and whatever, that's fine and good. Don't be fucking loud assholes for everybody else not seeing it
The first few minutes were tough as my eyes were adjusting to everything. Gave us a nice idea of what to expect through news clippings and things regarding the psycho miner on a killing spree.
He escapes from the hospital in an awesomely gory way and heads home to his mine. Young teenagers partying and heads rolling made this thing start off with a bang. They took full advantage of things flying at the screen early and people were loving it.
As things flash forward to ten years after the mining massacre, things REALLY slowed down an to be honest, they shouldve had us take off the glasses until things picked up again.
The mine is gonna be sold and the seller is a kid who survived the earlier attacks. He comes back after ten years and is being blamed for everything wrong with the town.
Things picked up again when the miner wreaks havoc on the town again. Best part was the motel with the 3D tits. Highly entertaining part of the movie.
Other shit happens and about halfway through the movie they decided to turn on a directors commentary so we know what's going on....... Oh wait, it was the obnoxious fat pig gangster girls behind us that wouldn't shut the fuck up and had the entire theatre playing a guessing game of what's to come with them. Fucking bitches. No wonder people get shot in theatre or not being quiet.
Anyhow the 3D came back and was exciting again (it never left just was worthwhile again). People were into the cat and mouse game and who dunnit atmosphere of the movie.
The ending "swerve" was kinda weak but it didn't take away from the fun of the movie. Was is the greatest horror movie I've seen? No. In recent memory yes. They actually put out a solid rated R flick with tons of gore, could language and 3D tits and beaver. Overall a lot of fun minus the cunts behind us.
3D movies are a nice gimmick making a comeback. Honestly they need shit like this to get people interested in going to the theatres to not watch dog hotel.
The place was a mobscene as well because there were a bunch of idiot 15 year old kids there that decided it was absolutely necessary to be obnoxious, run around, and fill the theatre to watch Notorious. I'm glad people want to support the movie and whatever, that's fine and good. Don't be fucking loud assholes for everybody else not seeing it
Friday, January 16, 2009
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