This will be a short one because its hot, and I dont feel like going into huge detail.
Adam Sandler heads back to his roots and is pretty damn funny in this. Throughout the movie I was cracking up, and all the offensive stereotypes and rediculous jokes and shit were great.
Definately recommend this one, as its one of the funnier movies I've seen in the theatres in a while.
Jessica Biel is SMOKING hot too.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Live Free or Die Hard
I think Bruce Willis is the dude, and I love over the top action movies. So since they decided to bring back Die Hard, I was pretty excited. The original trailers had me creaming my jeans, so I couldn't wait for the movie to actually come out. I saw it a couple weeks ago, and it sure didn't dissapoint.
There is a cyber terrorist on the loose, and he is destroying America and causing panic all over the country, while trying to heist a shit load of money in the process. John McClane is called into action, and he beats the shit out of EVERYBODY.
The action was awesome, and starts pretty much from the get go. There is witty banter back and forth between Willis and the annoying kid from the Apple commercials. Thankfully in this, he wasn't annoying and was actually pretty tolerable.
The action sequences were so crazy and unbelievable, but isn't that how a movie like this is supposed to be? If you got millions of dollars being put in to a movie, make it as extravagant as possible, so people like me will pop boners into my popcorn. Then when I think it cant get better, I can butter it with the load I shot from the next series of explosions and ass kicking.
This movie was awesome, it ran a solid non boring 2 and a half hours, and kept me engaged the whole way through. I've debated with myself if I liked this or Transformers better, but I will stick with Transformers, and this is right there behind it on the scale of awesome. I do agree, that if this had an R rating, and more swearing and some actual blood spraying out of people, it would be even better. Small things to complain about, when it was still action packed, plenty of violence, and more "dick heads" in a movie than I've noticed in a while.
5 butt affair.
There is a cyber terrorist on the loose, and he is destroying America and causing panic all over the country, while trying to heist a shit load of money in the process. John McClane is called into action, and he beats the shit out of EVERYBODY.
The action was awesome, and starts pretty much from the get go. There is witty banter back and forth between Willis and the annoying kid from the Apple commercials. Thankfully in this, he wasn't annoying and was actually pretty tolerable.
The action sequences were so crazy and unbelievable, but isn't that how a movie like this is supposed to be? If you got millions of dollars being put in to a movie, make it as extravagant as possible, so people like me will pop boners into my popcorn. Then when I think it cant get better, I can butter it with the load I shot from the next series of explosions and ass kicking.
This movie was awesome, it ran a solid non boring 2 and a half hours, and kept me engaged the whole way through. I've debated with myself if I liked this or Transformers better, but I will stick with Transformers, and this is right there behind it on the scale of awesome. I do agree, that if this had an R rating, and more swearing and some actual blood spraying out of people, it would be even better. Small things to complain about, when it was still action packed, plenty of violence, and more "dick heads" in a movie than I've noticed in a while.
5 butt affair.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
I HATE the original Texas Chainsaw. I know for it's time, it was one of the most shocking movies made, and it really scared the shit out of people, but for me personally, I think its way over rated, boring, and completely atrocious. When they made the remake a couple years ago, I liked it and thought it was pretty fun.
When I heard they were making a prequel to the remake, I thought, well if its like the remake, it'll be a decent watch. And it is pretty much the exact same thing as the remake.
Instead of Jessica Biels sweet ass being stalked, they got Jordana Brewster from the Fast and the Furious running around showing her ass crack. Not bad.
The movie itself is decent. The gore is turned up by a ton, and they don't shy away from showing anything. Like most movies will show a guy with a sledgehammer, then cut away before the impact. Not this one. You get to see it bounce off a guys face. Body parts ripped apart and all that crazy shit.
The problem for me with the movie is, since I know it's a prequel, and its obvious leather face, the "sherrif", and all the rest of the sick assholes in the house are in the original, how can you feel any suspense during this one? It's obvious from the get go that all the kids are gonna get slaughtered, just a matter of how. If that was a "SPOILER" for anybody, shut up, you already know nobody in the Leatherface Clan is dead anyways.
If you like movies with tons of gore, and sexy ladies running around looking sexy not scared, I guess watch it. If you've already seen the remake, you can skip this, cause with that one the ending is a lot more satisfying.
2 buttholes
When I heard they were making a prequel to the remake, I thought, well if its like the remake, it'll be a decent watch. And it is pretty much the exact same thing as the remake.
Instead of Jessica Biels sweet ass being stalked, they got Jordana Brewster from the Fast and the Furious running around showing her ass crack. Not bad.
The movie itself is decent. The gore is turned up by a ton, and they don't shy away from showing anything. Like most movies will show a guy with a sledgehammer, then cut away before the impact. Not this one. You get to see it bounce off a guys face. Body parts ripped apart and all that crazy shit.
The problem for me with the movie is, since I know it's a prequel, and its obvious leather face, the "sherrif", and all the rest of the sick assholes in the house are in the original, how can you feel any suspense during this one? It's obvious from the get go that all the kids are gonna get slaughtered, just a matter of how. If that was a "SPOILER" for anybody, shut up, you already know nobody in the Leatherface Clan is dead anyways.
If you like movies with tons of gore, and sexy ladies running around looking sexy not scared, I guess watch it. If you've already seen the remake, you can skip this, cause with that one the ending is a lot more satisfying.
2 buttholes
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Transformers
All you Michael Bay hating people, go experience the glory that is Transformers. It was an all around action packed fiesta of a good time. There was comedy. There was the generic romance, with a HOT chick. The usual visuals from Michael Bay (who in my opinion makes the nicest looking movies around). The guy is the master of the eye candy and sexy music video look. And there was KICK ASS ACTION.
So far, this movie takes the cake for me of all the summer shit I've seen. It was a very enjoyable, very entertaining thrill ride the whole time. I dont know how the guy does it, but he knows how to make chaotic action sequences, and these epic scenes of destruction seem like its no big deal.
This movie cost 150 million to make, yet Pirates and Spiderman 3 cost upwards of 300 million? Evan Almighty cost more than Transformers? What the fuck? With the visual effects, fight sequences, action, and AWESOME explosions, you'd assume Transformers cost a billion big ones. But the movie had far much more to show and offer than the others, and somehow they squeezed the whole package into a more exciting movie than the others at a fraction of the cost.
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME
5 holes baby! The crowd was awesome too. There were cheers and people going crazy for shit in the movie and it was all enjoyable. I usually hate that shit too.
I'll be checking it out again
So far, this movie takes the cake for me of all the summer shit I've seen. It was a very enjoyable, very entertaining thrill ride the whole time. I dont know how the guy does it, but he knows how to make chaotic action sequences, and these epic scenes of destruction seem like its no big deal.
This movie cost 150 million to make, yet Pirates and Spiderman 3 cost upwards of 300 million? Evan Almighty cost more than Transformers? What the fuck? With the visual effects, fight sequences, action, and AWESOME explosions, you'd assume Transformers cost a billion big ones. But the movie had far much more to show and offer than the others, and somehow they squeezed the whole package into a more exciting movie than the others at a fraction of the cost.
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME
5 holes baby! The crowd was awesome too. There were cheers and people going crazy for shit in the movie and it was all enjoyable. I usually hate that shit too.
I'll be checking it out again
1408
Haunted hotel room ghost story type deal. I am thinking I should start posting the trailers for the movies in the blog so I don't need to take the 20 seconds to write a poor synopsis of it on here. Either way, guy faces off with the haunted hotel room thats killed everybody thats ever stayed in it. Will he be the next death? SPOOOOOOKY!
This one had so much potential and I was pumped to see it. The preview looked awesome, and I havent seen a good haunted house type movie in a while. So I was pretty ready to go for this one.
It started off with a bang. Samuel L. is the pimp and building up the murderous hotel room and making you get prepared for the crazy shit thats about to happen to poor old John Cusack. Prepared I was. This was the first time I felt knots in my stomache building up anticipated a scare fest.
The first 45 minutes, maybe an hour, were awesome. The room was creepy. The pictures of all the dead people in the room, and the whole build up was great. Unfortunately, mid way through the haunting, the movie sputtered and ran out of gas. It was still cool, but it really just died out which was a real let down.
Acting was cool. Cusack was pretty good, and Samuel L., that guy can't do wrong it seems. Every role he has seems custom made for a sassy black mother fucker. The guys the dude and I wish we could get him in our movies.
If you dont wanna go see Pirates or Spiderman or any of the other big summer movies, go drop the money for a half decent time. Otherwise, wait for the DVD. 3 holes
This one had so much potential and I was pumped to see it. The preview looked awesome, and I havent seen a good haunted house type movie in a while. So I was pretty ready to go for this one.
It started off with a bang. Samuel L. is the pimp and building up the murderous hotel room and making you get prepared for the crazy shit thats about to happen to poor old John Cusack. Prepared I was. This was the first time I felt knots in my stomache building up anticipated a scare fest.
The first 45 minutes, maybe an hour, were awesome. The room was creepy. The pictures of all the dead people in the room, and the whole build up was great. Unfortunately, mid way through the haunting, the movie sputtered and ran out of gas. It was still cool, but it really just died out which was a real let down.
Acting was cool. Cusack was pretty good, and Samuel L., that guy can't do wrong it seems. Every role he has seems custom made for a sassy black mother fucker. The guys the dude and I wish we could get him in our movies.
If you dont wanna go see Pirates or Spiderman or any of the other big summer movies, go drop the money for a half decent time. Otherwise, wait for the DVD. 3 holes
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Hostel 2
This one picks up right where part 1 ended, so we get to see what happens to Pax from the first one. Then, we get pretty much the same movie as part 1 for the first 50 minutes or so, minus the witty banter, and dudes banging tons of chicks, with the addition of more backstory for the Elite Hunting Group.
Not saying its a bad thing, but the charm of part 1, were the likable characters, and the fun situations they were in until they were being chopped to bits. In this one, the build up and all that seemed pretty un-necesary because we already knew who was going to get killed from the get go.
The torture scenes themselves were gross enough. The first one for some reason made me squirm and uncomfortable more than I figured anything would. Good acting on behalf of the person involved, and it was a pretty gross situation.
There are a bunch of recurring characters from the first, and some things that happen I think for the sake of shock value (see the bubble gum kids meeting with the Elite Hunting leader), but overall it was interesting enough. I was totally involved in the story with the two guys who were high bidders on some of the girls and seeing how their stories played out, although the pay off seemed out of left field in a way for one of them.
The whole movie seems like a build up for the ending, which had the whole theatre hooting and howling because it was pretty entertaining to see. It wasn't "the most shocking horror ending ever" like its been built, but it was pretty gross and fun to watch pan out.
After that incident transpires, there's a total Cabin Fever esque campy ending to the movie. It really seems like Eli Roth just wanted to make the sequel for the ending torture sequence.
Overall, not a bad movie, and it was entertaining enough. But it lacked in the suspense department, and the humor department that the first one had going for it. Mainly because like I said, we already know whats going to happen to the girls, just a matter of when and how, where as the first one it was all new to people and it was an awesome ride.
3.5 Buttholes. Entertaining, but part 1 was overall a more enjoyable trip to the Hostel
Not saying its a bad thing, but the charm of part 1, were the likable characters, and the fun situations they were in until they were being chopped to bits. In this one, the build up and all that seemed pretty un-necesary because we already knew who was going to get killed from the get go.
The torture scenes themselves were gross enough. The first one for some reason made me squirm and uncomfortable more than I figured anything would. Good acting on behalf of the person involved, and it was a pretty gross situation.
There are a bunch of recurring characters from the first, and some things that happen I think for the sake of shock value (see the bubble gum kids meeting with the Elite Hunting leader), but overall it was interesting enough. I was totally involved in the story with the two guys who were high bidders on some of the girls and seeing how their stories played out, although the pay off seemed out of left field in a way for one of them.
The whole movie seems like a build up for the ending, which had the whole theatre hooting and howling because it was pretty entertaining to see. It wasn't "the most shocking horror ending ever" like its been built, but it was pretty gross and fun to watch pan out.
After that incident transpires, there's a total Cabin Fever esque campy ending to the movie. It really seems like Eli Roth just wanted to make the sequel for the ending torture sequence.
Overall, not a bad movie, and it was entertaining enough. But it lacked in the suspense department, and the humor department that the first one had going for it. Mainly because like I said, we already know whats going to happen to the girls, just a matter of when and how, where as the first one it was all new to people and it was an awesome ride.
3.5 Buttholes. Entertaining, but part 1 was overall a more enjoyable trip to the Hostel
Pirates 3
Third and possibly final movie in the series. This one wasn't as good as the other two. The first was the best and they've gradually gone down hill in my opinion. This one had some half decent action sequences, and the best part of the movie is in the first 20-25 minutes in my opinion when they are at Chow Yun Fats place trying to do some funny business.
The Depp hallucinations, multiple personalities were kinda lame. Orlando Bloom is still a homo who is the same character in every movie, just with different version of his gay hair.
The biggest complaint I have about the movie, is there are about 500 swerves, turncoats, backstabbings in the span of about 3 minutes, and it's pretty hard to follow who is going to get who and who is on what team. It got very confusing, very fast. For the people who complained there were too many storylines in Spiderman 3, that was a breeze compared to this.
I'll give it 2 and a half butts, so I suppose it's a middle butt of a movie. You could wait for the dvd.
The Depp hallucinations, multiple personalities were kinda lame. Orlando Bloom is still a homo who is the same character in every movie, just with different version of his gay hair.
The biggest complaint I have about the movie, is there are about 500 swerves, turncoats, backstabbings in the span of about 3 minutes, and it's pretty hard to follow who is going to get who and who is on what team. It got very confusing, very fast. For the people who complained there were too many storylines in Spiderman 3, that was a breeze compared to this.
I'll give it 2 and a half butts, so I suppose it's a middle butt of a movie. You could wait for the dvd.
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