Coraline

3D stop motion animation brought back to the big screen by the guy who made it famous. No, not you Tim Burton, but the actual director Henry Selick who was given the Nightmare Before Christmas to direct and actually did all the hard work on it yet gets no recognition for it. Reminds meof how we could see Quentin Tarantino presents: Weekend at Bernies and he'd get all the notoriety for the movie by doing very little on the movie.

Whatever.

This was slickly animated and visually stunning. Seriously. The characters are all creepy little shits as the story is about a family moving into an old creepy house and the weird happenings taking place behind a secret door in the wall.

If I was a young kid watching this, I'd have probably fudged my undies as it is a pretty creepy story and there are creepy characters with buttons sewn on as eyes and stuff like that. I'm not though but was still genuinely creeped out about some of that crap. The villain is a nasty bitch, but man was she good.

The movie kind of moves slowly at points so of seemed to drag which usually isn't good, but maybe it fit with the slow moving, loner situation Coraline is in. Not sure. If they trimmed ten minutes or so somewhere in the middle it'd be a welcome cut, but overall I can't complain. The animation is slick and interesting and the story is creepy and original. I recommend it if you like cartoons, especially ones that aren't solely for little kids.

Eagle Eye

I had a nice long review of this but it got erased. So short and sweet, Even Stevens is set up for being a terrorist so the FBI is hot on his tail. Another person is in the same boat, Michelle Moynahan and her sweet ass. As the story progresses and we see more of the surveillance and government secrets it became obvious what was going on. Did it ruin it for me? Not at all as there were still plenty of cool action scenes and Billy Bob Thornton being an FBI agent which is entertaining on it's own. I'd say check it out if you're into government conspiracies and the fear that humans are in trouble. If you like I Robot you'll probably like this

Taken

Liam Neeson stars as an ex "preventer" who's daughter heads to Paris and is kidnapped with her friend by some dirty Albanian scumbags. He heads out of retirement and puts a serious hurt on anyone standing in his way. I do mean anyone. I'm talking about you innocent housewife!!

Luc Besson who wrote The Professional and two of the Transporters and a bunch of other shit wrote this. The more I see of stuff he came up with the more I'm inclined to say oh he wrote this so I'm sure it'll be full of highly entertaining, over the top, balls out action and a story about hookers or human trafficking. Sold.

This starts out letting us know who the characters are. As soon as the movie heads to Paris, all bets are off. He shows up and pretty much turns into Jason Statham in the Transporter. Only thing is he's like thirty years older and the only thing being transported by him are fucking beatings for all these foreign ass perverts. He lays the beat downs like a hard ass and it was thoroughly enjoyable to watch. For a PG-13 rating, I'm surprised at how much gun play, killings an half naked bitches were in here. Really if there were a couple of accented fucks in there and a few titties, this would be one of the best brainless actioners I've seen in a bit.

Everyone behind this knew how to start the engine and keep things going at break neck speeds. There's no dumb shit to this movie as any fat has been trimmed and we are served up to a big plate of awesome.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Only movie I've ever wanted to leave during. I like the guy that wrote it, but this was complete horse shit. Johnny Depp, great job as Dr. Evil Wonka.

Worst movie ever

Captivity

I may have already reviewed this, I don't remember.

Anyhow I saw the DVD laying around and it reminded me of this:

IT'S SO SHITTY!!

The Notebook

Sat down with my lady to watch every girls favorite movie last night. I expected some cheesy fairy tale shit but it turned out to be thoroughly enjoyable. It's about two sweethearts seperated after a summer of love, only to somehow be reunited down the line. There's plenty more to the story, most of which I figured out right away, but it didn't take away my enjoyment of the flick at all. It had humor, romance, and a shitload of dialogue that sounded like a legitimate scenario I was involved in last summer.

Yes I cried. Any dude that watches with his bitch and doesn't cry, you're a fucking creep

Underworld 3

Prequel to the Vampire vs. Werewolf series that had Kate Beckinsale running around in painted on sexy outfits. In her place is the equally attractive if not slightly sexier Rhona Mitre.

She plays a death dealer, no surprise, in love with Lucian (a Lycan hybrid who protects their turf from his other werewolf comrades). When their affair is brought to the attention to her father Victor (the creepy old fuck with crazy eyes) he shits and has Lucian whipped and tossed in Jail with a bunch of other rejects. Sonja (Rhona) makes a deal to help him escape and their love fest begins the all out war between vampires and werewolves.

It looks and feels exactly like the other two. Filled with blue color, cool fights, sexy bitch and creepy old guy looking creepy. If you liked the first two it won't disappoint. If you didn't it won't change your mind. I enjoyed it thoroughly and enjoy Rhona Mitre as the replacement for Selene. They're both babes that wanna blow me.

If you haven't seen the three, as this is a prequel you should just see the newest one first followed by one and two.